4,255 days. 11 years, 7 months and 5 days. That is how long
it took me and my husband to have a child. In about our third year of marriage
I found out I was pregnant. However, that little baby went to meet Jesus before
the 3rd month of pregnancy. The disappointment, month after month,
is not easy to explain. Some months the realization I wasn’t pregnant felt like
a tiny ball of disappointment in my heart. Other months, it hit me like a brick
wall of devastation. The only circumstance harder than not being able to
conceive a child was losing one. Everywhere I went, I watched pregnant women
and new mothers with envy.
Fast forward through those devastating years to the end of
2009. We finally decided we needed help. At a New Year’s Eve celebration I had
the privilege of talking to a very pregnant friend. She was telling me how her
son was conceived through IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). She explained to me the
procedures I would have to go through to find out why we were not getting
pregnant. She also explained a little about the IVF procedure she went through.
Talking to her that night was enough to motivate me to call
a fertility clinic and schedule a consult. I had my first appointment by mid-February
and shortly after was told I could not naturally conceive. We needed to proceed
with IVF. One year later, on March 27, my miracle was born. He was my 7lb 4 oz.
miracle baby and he was perfect!!
Through many of those years of anxious anticipation my
husband and I would find ourselves in the toy department of various stores
dreaming about the expensive toys we would buy our future child. We planned the
most expensive motorized cars and top of the line electronics. Our child would
want for nothing.
I was back to work for two weeks after Levi was
born when I had a change of heart. I desperately wanted to spend my days caring
for my son. Even if it meant not being able to buy my son every toy he wanted.
Even if it meant not being able to buy every kitchen toy I wanted. At that point,
my husband and I agreed to find a way for me to quit my job. About 18 months
later we moved to Nevada and I quit my job to be a stay at home mommy.
That is a decision we stand by to
this day. We cannot buy every toy Levi wants. We can’t even buy the organic
groceries I want. Is it worth it? Absolutely!!
I may not be able to buy my
little boy the most awesome motorized car in the toy department, but when he
says, “Mommy, I want a sandwich, please!” I can certainly make him some bread
so he can have a sandwich. My house is gluten free because I have gluten
sensitivity. When I ingest gluten, it basically shuts me down for several days.
My family would choose for me to be functional over bread any day.
After making almond flour in
my last post, and telling you about my really great almond bread recipe, I
decided to make some bread. I want to give my miracle baby a sandwich, a little
way to show him I love him.
I chose to make baguette
loaves, but you can turn this recipe into almost anything you want. You can
shape it into a roll for a sub sandwich or even hamburger buns. I like to make
hamburger buns and use it for Sloppy Joes. I used this recipe on Super Bowl
Sunday to make sub sandwiches, and they were so good. We are going to
Washington next week and I’m planning on making tea sandwiches on this bread
for the drive.
So, here is the recipe. I
got the original recipe from Maria's Nutritional and Delicious Journal. I
have made a couple modifications to suit my own taste, but basically follow her
recipe.
Low Carb/Paleo Almond Bread
Ingredients:
·
1 ½ cup of almond flour (her recipe calls for
blanched almond flour; I made it with my home made flour and blanched side by
side and prefer my home made flour. It gives it more of a whole wheat taste)
·
5 tablespoons of psyllium husk powder (no
substitutes, flax will not work)
·
2 teaspoons of baking powder
·
1 teaspoons of salt
·
1 oz. (2 ½ tablespoons) of apple cider vinegar
·
2 eggs (or three egg whites to make it rise more)
·
1 cup of boiling water.
Directions:
1. Preheat
oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix
almond flour, psyllium husk, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl until well
combined.
3. Add
egg whites and vinegar and mix until it looks like thick dough.
4. Add
boiling water and mix until dough appears firm
5. Form
into long roll in greased baguette pan.
6. Bake
for 55 minutes and cool completely before cutting with a serrated knife.
Used egg Whites for these |
You can also make 4 or 5 1” disks
to make hamburger buns. Bake smaller shapes for 50 minutes.
I used whole eggs in the baguette
recipe to keep it from raising so much, when you use egg whites, it will rise 2
or 3 times the original size, which makes for great sub sandwiches and hamburger buns.
For those of you who may be
reading this who also struggle with infertility, I am so deeply sorry. I can
tell you from experience that God’s plan is perfect. He may be waiting until he
has you ready to be the best parent you can be before he blesses you with a
child of your own. He may want you to take a different route to parenting. I
don’t pretend to know what God’s plan is for my life, but I try to keep in mind
that it is not only what is best for me but will also glorify him.
I Hope you enjoy this bread
as much as I do!!
May Your Joy Be Full,
Rachel
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James
1:17 (ESV)
If you enjoyed my post or
found it useful, you can follow me on Facebook Mommy Who Loves God
No comments:
Post a Comment