This boy seemed hard and distant to
those who didn’t know him, but warmed up quickly after spending a little time with
him. The first time we hung out, he told me repeatedly how much Jesus loves us.
As we sat in his barracks room, drinking Miller Highlife and wine coolers, he
introduced me to MXPX and the Dropkick Murphy’s. I remember thinking to myself,
“maybe I should listen to my Mom for once and date a Christian.” I was a
Christian, but my relationship with God was at best strained. I didn’t like
people to tell me what to do, and that included God.
Fourteen years ago, today, August 2, I
married that boy. I would love to say that we loved each other well for the
last fourteen years, but that would be untruthful. We did love each other,
probably the best we could at that time, but it wasn’t a lasting love. We both
needed to learn to love better. Many years and many mistakes went by, while neither
of us kept a real relationship with God. It seems year after year, we got
further and further from him, making us drift further and further from each
other. If we hadn’t been so complacent and lazy, we would have probably
divorced somewhere around year seven.
We tried going to church several
times in our early marriage, but got discouraged because we felt people judged
us because of our tattoos or the way we dressed. Somewhere around our tenth
year of marriage, my coworker and friend made me listen to his pastor on our
lunch break. It was a sermon about humor in a series called Religion Saves and Nine other Misconceptions. The sermon was really funny and interesting. That night, I played
it back to my husband. He was impressed and started listening to this Pastor’s
sermons online. A few months later, we made the trip into Seattle to see this
church for ourselves. The next week, we went to our most local service and kept
going for several years until we moved out of state. This was not a church that
judged people, it was a church that loved and taught people.
For the next year, God used this
Preacher and Church to break us. Week after week it felt as though every sermon
was specifically for us in our own way. By the end of our first year, we both
had repented a lot to God and each other. We had not loved each other well. The
problems in our marriage wasn’t his fault or my fault, they were our fault.
It took a lot of repentance and
forgiveness, but God healed our marriage. I love my husband more now than I ever
thought possible. God changed us, and is still changing us. He is teaching us
to love like he does. Until we learned his love, we couldn’t love. I put my
husband on a pedestal. Most people would say that is very loving, but they
would be wrong. It is not love to hold someone to a standard that they cannot
possibly live up to. To love him well means to love him with his imperfections
and accept that he will disappoint me sometimes. Then I have to be ready to
forgive him. To love him well means to realize I am not always right and may
need to apologize sometimes. To love my husband well means to respect him. He
is the head of our household. God put him in that position and who am I to
argue with God? Does it mean I am his servant? Absolutely not!! But I am his
helper, and I’m really good at helping. I also get real joy from taking care of
my family.
Is my husband perfect? Nope! But
he’s perfect for me!!
My husband is a strong and loving
leader. He loves God and loves his family. He is generous and a really hard
worker. He supports his family with everything he has. He is a wonderful father
and a hero to our little boy. I could not imagine spending any part of my life
without him. Outside of my salvation through Jesus Christ, my husband is my
greatest blessing!! I thank God for giving me my husband and for making my marriage
what it is today. I thank my husband for trying to love us like Jesus loves the
church. I thank him for leading and supporting our family well. I thank him for
loving us well. I can say with a confident heart, though not always perfect, my marriage has exceeded any expectation I may have ever had!!!
May Your Joy Be Full,
Rachel
18
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love
your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians
3:18,19
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